My Culture is the Best: Cosmic Chit-Chat

Did the title of this blog trigger you a little? If it did, welcome to the North Node in Cancer! The North Node has been traveling through Cancer since November 2018 and you can read more about this transit here. In my blog about this astrological event, I predicted that there would be a greater emphasis on nationalism and ancestry as the nodal axis is currently placed in the areas dealing with culture and roots. Have you noticed all of the commercials and companies popping up for ancestral DNA analysis?(Let’s keep in mind that the SN is in Capricorn which rules the elitist governments and big business so they definitely have ulterior motives for the massive DNA collection they’re doing) Have you been researching your own family tree or connecting more with your culture? Have you seen more nationalism or racism? Your answer should be “yes” to all of these questions, because the intensity of the times we’re living in is being felt on the most minute levels.

Personal Story 

For me personally, I started feeling the ancestral stuff last summer during the World Cup. Seeing my ancestral home win the silver medal brought up a lot of emotions for me. I have definitely been feeling the call to visit my family’s homeland and have immersed myself more into the culture. This has been a way for me to connect with my roots which has helped me understand myself a lot better. I have come to realize that characteristics that I thought were unique to me, are in fact, cultural. I have also taken off the rose coloured glasses and have seen and experienced the not so nice parts of my culture which hasn’t been easy. There is a darker aspect to this transit which people are avoiding, and it’s called “nationalism.”

For the past few weeks I have found myself watching expat videos on Youtube. I’ve been watching some channels about expats views on living in countries such as France, Croatia, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, and England. While I have found the videos to be very eye-opening, the commentary of the anonymous viewers in the comment sections has been a little disturbing.

I have repeatedly seen very prejudiced and racist comments, people boasting about how their country is “the best” and degrading demeaning pokes at the culture being discussed and cultures and countries not being discussed. I know this is typically more of a “European” thing as there is an extremely deep attachment to the protectionist ideology, however, there is something bigger going on here.

Distortion

The nodes of the Moon distort. They are actually invisible points. They are not specifically something we can observe through a telescope. They are the dragon’s head and dragon’s tail that have been severed, meaning neither one can properly function or survive without the other. Wherever the nodes are traveling, specifically the NN, we experience an illusory and distorted energy. Things are not what they appear to be. We are taking in all of these experiences but we aren’t digesting them because our body has been cut off. We usually don’t process our nodal experiences until they have changed signs. With the North Node in Cancer, people are holding very tightly onto their cultures and national identities to the point that they are suffocating themselves with rhetoric and belief systems that are currently being expelled by the South Node in Capricorn.

The South Node in Capricorn is destabilizing our lives in order to restructure them. When people are experiencing rapid change, they always grab onto security. Things that are unchanging and reliable. So there has been a rise of nationalism and culture chest pounding because people feel like they’re losing control.

The rise in racism is happening because people cannot tolerate or accept themselves in a rapidly changing world. Loyalty is fear disguised. They glamourize and egotize their cultures because the NN is not allowing them to “see” if for what it is. The North Node in Cancer is forcing us deeper into our culture/ancestry so we can free ourselves from their binding chains- South Node in Capricorn.

Culture Club

Sadly I’ve come to learn that culture is mentality. People from specific cultures all tend to think the same way unless they have done the inner work to empower themselves. The South Node in Capricorn is trying to rid our lives of these outdated ways of thinking and living via institutions, paradigms, lifestyles, business, laws etc. I would like to add mentality to this list as well because it is such a strong controlling force in our lives. The South Node was transiting Aquarius last year which was a precursor to this notion of saying goodbye to group think. The SN in Capricorn is now targeting the infrastructure of our lives. We need to start thinking for ourselves, and with the NN in Cancer, we need to connect with our cultures so we can let the SN in Capricorn digest it- to allow it to absorb the nutritional qualities and to expel the toxic elements. We can only empower ourselves when we are able to understand where we fit into the context of our culture. Are you a leader or a follower? Are you a wolf or a sheep? Your are not defined by your culture or your home country. You are where you heart is, so is home where the heart is? Or is it somewhere else? Go and find it. You most definitely will when the lunar axis shifts into Gemini/Sagittarius next year.

Have you experienced any of the things mentioned in this blog?

 

 

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New Moon in Taurus May 4, 2019: Love Yourself

The New Moon in Taurus is going to be drawing a fine line between the ego and the heart. Our ego prevents us from accepting those parts of ourselves that challenge the “norm.” Yet our heart is in fact the one making those parts of ourselves stronger, louder, and more visible. The lesson here is to love yourself completely and unconditionally. You do this by acknowledging every thought, choice, decision, and feeling as it appears.

The Aspects

Sun sextile Neptune- greater sensitivity and thinking things are better than they actually are.

Mars opposite Jupiter- trying to force your truth without first knowing what your truth is

Venus square Saturn & Pluto- letting go of who you think you are

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

The recurring message of these aspects is a lack of grounding- a difficulty in seeing your reality and life for as it is. At this New Moon you are being called to stop using indulgences as a form of avoidance. When you begin comforting yourself, you bring yourself back into alignment with the rhythmical energies of Earth, receiving clarity in abundance.

The Moon is quite happy in Taurus as she is exalted here, but her longing for stability and security is going to be at odds with what is happening internally. The ruler of the New Moon is Venus in Aries who is not happy here. Venus in Aries has to get clear on what her values are and to surrender completely to who she is no matter what people think of her. Venus will be at 17 degrees Aries near the Sun’s exaltation degree of 19 degrees Aries so we need to burn away our ego and embrace who we are.

The kozminsky symbol for 17 degrees Aries is:

18º Aries: The goddess Venus holding out her hands to a wounded soldier, who is painfully trying to reach her.
Denotes sympathy. Many times will the native stumble and fall by the way, but ever will there be a bright light before him to dispel the darkness of the night and to dissipate his fears. The mind is aspiring, but to reach its ideal, pain and struggle are involved. The native must not falter, for very nigh unto him is his hope-a little sacrifice and endeavor will unite him to it. It is a symbol of Upraising.

This degree allows us to recognize our pain and wounds as being the means to which we can unite our heart and mind which is the only way to create tangible changes in our lives. We must stop criticizing ourselves and start respecting our differences and shadows because they are begging for love, they are messages coming from our heart as I mentioned at the beginning of this post.

Love Yourself

Taurus energy is all about indulging in the pleasures of the Earth, but these sensual indulgences are transitory and disposable. We need to be self-indulging which means comforting our wounded inner child, speaking to our neglected voice, hugging our pain body, soothing our over-worked mind, and saying hello to our shadow who is standing fearfully in the corners of our psyche. Acknowledgment is a form of love.

 

 

Photo: Escape Heaven

Full Moon in Cancer December 22, 2018: Lunar Love

The final Full Moon of 2018 is in her own domain of Cancer. There are only a couple of aspects which are beautiful and inspiring. This FM is happening only a few hours after the Winter Solstice which is emitting a lunar glow to bathe the strong solar energy of the solstice. It is a doorway that we are stepping through and closing off behind us.

The Aspects

Moon sextile Uranus- new ideas and changes in your personal life

Venus trine Neptune- deeper connections and understanding

The final FM of the year carries the main lessons of the year. Her aspects show us that we all experienced great changes in our personal lives, in order for us to look at things in new ways. This FM is at 0 degrees Cancer suggesting we can also treat her as a NM. What can we expect in 2019? Let’s look at the Kozminsky symbol…

1º Cancer: A curious ring set with a large heart of white onyx.
Denotes one of occult learning and of an extremely sensitive and sympathetic nature who will do much for the pleasure and help of the people. He is gifted with a peculiar power, which produces a feeling of calmness and serenity. He may not be free from his own worries, but the power to cast away such poison is his, and he will find that the rays of good he throws out for others will react with added force on himself. It is a symbol of Compassion

This symbol speaks to the Venus trine Neptune aspect. The lesson we must carry with us into 2019 is that of compassion. The 11 universal year of 2018 was a year of growing pains. 2019 will be a universal 3 year, a time when we must alchemize our pain into wisdom to help heal others.

Take some time during this FM and ponder these questions:

What if the pain I experienced this year wasn’t pain but power? What did I do with this power? What can I still do with my power?

Glowing Moon to all!

 

 

 

Tales from the ’11’: Part 2

As our 11 universal year comes to a close, I thought I would share some final thoughts on what this intense and liberating energy taught us. Part 1 of my 11 universal year analysis can be found here.

Confrontation

The 11 in numerology represents enlightenment, illumination, awakening, and authenticity. It is a master number because these are some of the hardest things to achieve.

This year saw us having to confront our authenticity. We were tested with lessons and hardships in order to get to the root/core of who we are.

Those who were born with an 11 lifepath, are the “late bloomers” of the world as they struggle with embracing their true selves. I’m an 11 life path myself, so the lessons around being true to who I am are a constant struggle for me.

2018 happened to be an 11/2 year, meaning the core frequency of the 2 was also at work. The two is the number of relationships, balance, and harmony. Even though it seemed like the focus was on us, part of confronting our authenticity involved healing those parts of ourselves in others.

Sacred Reciprocity

Relationships were emphasized this year- perhaps they under went serious evaluation, rebuilding, or strengthening. When we are able to heal our relationships, we heal those parts within ourselves that have been buried, neglected, wounded, or forgotten.

When we are able to confront who we are, we gain confidence and trust- two things the 11 struggles with. Confronting our authenticity creates sacred reciprocity- the ability to have a relationship with the unseen and spiritual. We develop a profound understanding of our place in the world which helps us better serve our purpose.

I noticed many people experienced tragedies and setbacks that forced them to deal with issues they were avoiding. When we experience big upsets, it’s always the last attempt from the universe to wake us up. It’s a beautiful act of awakening that is disguised as a horrible catastrophe.

Final Thoughts

Here are some things that the 11 universal year should have brought you:

-Shift in perspective

-Greater compassion

-Emotional detachment

– Self-sacrifice

-Patience

-Mirroring

-Healing

It’s amazing that when we experience just some of the above mentioned things, we unlock the power of who we are. It’s a special kind of magic that only appears when it’s time for us to upgrade to a more purposeful version of ourselves.

2019 will be a universal 3 year, a time for us to share our new selves no matter how much opposition we face internally or externally.

Tony Robbins a life path 11 has many quotes that symbolize the 11 energy, but here is one that I feel best sums up this year

Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.

See you in 2019!

Full Moon in Aries September 24, 2018: True Grit

grit

/grit\

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit in the context of behavior is defined as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit.” Duckworth, based on her studies, tweaked this definition to be “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.”

The Full Moon in Aries is completing a cycle that began on April 16, 2018 when we had our New Moon in Aries. That New Moon which was the snapshot of energies we would be dealing with this year, happened to be conjunct Uranus. So this Full Moon begs the question “how has the instability of your life affected you this year?”

The Aspects

Moon conjunct Chiron- feeling extremely vulnerable

Moon square Capricorn- fears that are holding you back

Sun conjunct Mercury- self critical thoughts

Moon opposite Mercury- hard things to think and talk about

Moon sextile Mars- this too shall pass

Mars conjunct South Node- saying goodbye to the comparison trap

Moon trine North Node- be proud of your wounds

 

This is the heaviest moon of 2018. The major theme of this year has been about getting honest and real with ourselves which is the true grittiness of being authentic. This requires us looking into the stories we tell ourselves, the self-talk, & the hurts around our identity. Aries deals with our individuality, yet during the unexpected and abrupt experiences we’ve dealt with this year, we have been struggling with bridging the gap between our individualistic values and our needs. It’s only when we form solid values that we are our true selves.

At the same time, all of the major planetary cycles of this year- Saturn in Capricorn, Uranus in Taurus, Mars conjunct the South Node, Chiron in Aries, Mars square Uranus, the summer eclipses share all one thing in common: restructuring. So there is a push and a pull for us to create new values, yet that first requires us learning new things about ourselves. We are in the midst of an identity crisis and the only way to get through it, is to cultivate some self-acceptance. You can accept who you are by owning up to your feelings and by channeling your pain towards the North Node in Leo which our Moon and Chiron is supporting right now. Look to see which house the North Node is transiting and focus your energies there.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I’m stepping forward with grit anchored in grace. -Julie Graham

The day after this Full Moon (September 25th), Chiron will be retrograding back into Pisces where we will have the chance to retrieve those forgotten spiritual lessons that we should be applying to our identity wounds. Pearls of wisdom await us but they require a gritty perseverance if we expect to retrieve them.

Can you rework your past? That grit that rubs in you, until it is shiny and smooth as a pearl?- Anne Funder

My Story of Being an Accidental “Healer.”

She left as fast as she entered my life. It was as though the wind carried her in from some barren landscape, where all she had were the oppressing elements and her own inner demons to keep her company. She found me like a camel finds water in the desert. Little did I know, that somehow, I was looking for her too, that I was brought to her from my own paradise, that was lush with medicinal plants, and sunshine. This was my typical encounter of the healer and the healed.

If I look back over my relatively short life, I can see that it is filled with short term “friendships.” My friendships typically last 2 years, and not a second more than that. As someone who doesn’t necessarily crave friendships, this is an alright arrangement, but after a while, it does get lonely and predictable.

In school, which is where all of the friendships occurred, it was always the person who had a lot of emotional baggage, personal drama, broken home and or family, or crippling low self esteem who seemed to find their way to me. I suppose inadvertently I was also drawn to them, as they typically had no friends, were bullied, and were genuinely nice people. On the surface we shared absolutely nothing in common and were the polar opposites to each other. Other people would even question why we were friends, or would just scratch their heads as to why we even talked? I didn’t pay much attention to it, even though I was aware of their perceptions, and found that my “friends’ were oblivious to those feelings and remarks.

My “friends” would spend great deals of time unloading all of their baggage onto me and would confide in me personal struggles they were having that no one else knew about. As a child, I didn’t consciously know that this is what they were doing, but as the agreeable person I am by nature, I listened, offered my advice and insight, but spent most of the time uplifting their spirits and letting them know that they were perfect just the way they were. Conversations never occurred around me or my life, and considering the amount of private information that was confided in me, no one knew anything about me, or my own inner struggles and emotions. Everyday at school felt like a therapy session and when I wasn’t at school, I was at home spending time by myself, absorbed in my books and movies and in my endless imagination. I can see now, that I was retreating, needing to get away from the emotional vampires, hence why I was and still am a loner.

When my “friends” self esteem improved or when the pieces of their lives were put back together, suddenly, the friendship would end, as if someone from above cut the cords that were binding us together. As a child this would usually involve either not keeping in touch with them over the summer holidays, one of us moving away or going to a different school, or finding a different crowd to hang out with. I must say, that I was almost always the person who would cut these cords. I never stayed in touch with my “friends” over the holidays or when we changed schools. Everytime I would go to a new place I would literally start from scratch and not want to keep in touch with anyone from my past. I’ve burned a lot of bridges as a result, but the bridges were only made of paper, and not brick or steel.

One summer afternoon last year, while wearing a piece of Sodalite, it dawned on me, that my friendships suddenly ended, because the person needing to be healed, was healed. Think about it, why hang around the hospital if you’ve recovered from your surgery? There’s no reason for you to be there.

What also dawned on me, was that while I was the one helping the healed, I was also helping myself. My friends were never shy or embarrassed to be vulnerable, they never felt ashamed or uncomfortable sharing intimate details of their battles and inner demons. What’s ironic, is that while I was there to comfort my friends, the one needing comforting was actually me. I have always been hypersensitive and suppressed a lot of my feelings as a child unknowingly. I never had someone to confide in like my friends did. Sure, I had my Mom who is very psychically connected to me, and pretty much knows what I’m feeling and thinking without having to say anything, but she still does not know everything, and I think I’m not alone in saying that I think most of us wish we could have that super close friend who we could turn to in times of need, that person who could offer their unconditional support and love, no judgement or critique. What I’ve come to appreciate about my friends, is their raw vulnerability, something I have always been afraid of.

There’s also a flip side to this dynamic. Recently, in the last couple of years or so, I have also noticed that I am energetically seeking out those who have built walls around themselves, those who have something to hide. I can see this in my College experience of the last 2 years. There were about 3 people who were very standoffish and passive aggressive. Without being aware of what I was doing, I was chipping away at their steel walls, getting them to open up and share and express their inner selves to me. I can’t say that I have a technique, but all I do is hold space for them, and uplift their spirits. One person who was quite the challenge, opened up and blossomed into the person she was meant to be. For the sake of this story I will change her name to Raven.

From the moment Raven and I met, I felt instantly drawn to her. She seemed distant, cold, and extremely private about who she was. As usual fate intervened, and we were paired together for a group project. She was a little abrupt, arrogant, and stern. We both shared a Slavic ethnic background, so I suspected it had to do with the typical Slavic rough around the edges demeanour. But I was still drawn to her and didn’t buy into the image she was presenting. We both discovered that we shared a lot in common with one another, and I for the first time found myself opening up more about my background and interests, as when I did, her body language become less standoffish. I knew I was hitting on something. Since we had to spend a lot of time together working on class projects, I started casually asking more questions with regards to her interests and hobbies. She was able to open up a little, but it was like pulling teeth. I got the impression that she didn’t trust me……a first for me. Once Raven saw that I wasn’t hanging around with the other classmates, she started talking to me more. She obviously had little patience for the other students as did I, who were immature and clones of one another. She obviously valued individuality and non-conformism. Months went by and we started talking to each other more frequently, even by email, exchanging movies and books, and collaborating on more school assignments. By this point, I knew we were “friends.”

Raven was very different than the other students. She wore rock band t-shirts, Doc Marten combat books, and even came back to school one Monday morning with her hair shaved off. I appreciated her uniqueness and deviance and made that known to her. I could see that her rebellion against the normal social codes of society, was actually her seeking validation, and all Raven wanted was to be validated for who she was. She obviously was feeling uncomfortable in her own skin. Raven also started to compliment me on my individuality, the fact that I chose to ignore the “popular” people and had unique taste in fashion and popular culture. I could see that she was feeling more comfortable opening up. This is when I began asking more personal questions with regards to her family and past. She was very evasive and would give the impression that she didn’t want to discuss it. I knew I had found Raven’s weak spot. For the first time, this was when I began to open up more about my own family and past. Nothing too detailed, but enough that she was intrigued. When I did this, she also began opening up more. Raven admitted that she did not speak to her family, rented a room, and had virtually no friends. She had completely cut herself off from the world. I didn’t ask her any more questions about that and she did not seem willing enough to discuss it. One day we were both sitting in a study room at the library working on a project when out of the blue she mentioned the fact that she gets extremely annoyed when someone calls her a lady. She glared at me when she said that and I was a little taken aback. I would repeatedly refer to Raven as a lady in emails and I had no idea that offended her. I just said, “oh okay, I’ll make sure not to do that anymore.” This got me thinking that perhaps she was lesbian?

A few weeks later we were sitting in a study room in the library once again and we were discussing internship interviews that we both went on. She went on an interview to a highly prestigious company and said she felt extremely uncomfortable because there was a man there who was hitting on her. I said, “well it happens, and if you don’t feel comfortable you don’t have to go back.” She then said “well it’s very awkward for me, well it’s because as everyone can probably guess, I’m transgender.” Aha! To be honest, I wasn’t surprised, even though I wasn’t entirely sure that’s what it was. After almost 2 years, Raven let go of all the walls she built up around her. I just nodded and gave her my support. I said “that no matter what, everyone needs to be themselves, and we only have 1 life to live, so you might as well do it the right way.” She nodded too and became a different person. She also confessed this to me in the first room we ever had a conversation in. The first room where her steel walls protected her. We had come full circle. She was so much more relaxed and at peace. The next few weeks Raven opened up even more. Those mysterious doctor’s appointments she was constantly going to had to do with her trying to find a doctor who could help her transition. What was interesting was that she opened up to another friend of our’s whose friend was also transgender. She recommended a doctor and it was a success. The day Raven started talking openly about her struggle and her transitional process, and when she even asked me for my opinion on her new name, I knew that we would never see each other again. My last conversation with Raven had to do with her excitedly telling me that her hormone therapy would be starting later that month. The last words I said to her, were “congratulations, I am so happy for you, and you can always count on me being your personal cheerleader.” After that I never saw Raven again.

The February eclipses in 2017 rolled around and I realized I did not want to continue my college education. Once again it seemed external circumstances severed the friendship. I have often wondered if had the eclipses not come around, would I still be friends with Raven? Deep down, I know the answer. Raven was healed, she was finally validated. I don’t take responsibility for that, but I do feel I helped to facilitate her opening up. Simultaneously while she was opening up to me, I began opening up to her about hating College and my internship. She also felt the same way and was going to be pursuing more creative avenues. I encouraged her to do that, but I wasn’t encouraging myself. I guess having the courage to walk away from everything with only 2 months left, was when my walls came down too. Ironically it was the Tower card that I kept getting in my weekly tarot readings that gave me the push to do it.

Raven’s story is the most dramatic example in my life of my healer and healed friendship. I have had countless more, and know I will continue to as well. I don’t take pride in this unique role, I don’t take responsibility for helping to heal others. All I do is try to facilitate their growth and give their vulnerability a place to shine.

Healers are the ones who need to be healed themselves. And I know that there is a lot more healing to come.

I can see clearly now….

“A true healer does not heal you; she simply reflects back to you your innate capacity to heal. She is a reflector, or a loving transparency. A true teacher does not teach you; she does not see you as inherently separate from her, or less than her. She simply reflects back your own inner knowing, and reminds you of the vastness of your being. She is a mirror, a signpost. And love is the space in which all of this is possible; love heals, and we learn best in a loving field, no threat of failure, no punishment.”

-Jen from CosmicGypsy